the Holy Number of the Pi

Today is Pi day. I hope you will be inspired by this reading from "the Holy Science", book of Mathematics, chapter 3, verses 14 and 15:

"And on the day of the Holy Number of the Pi, being the 14th day of the 3rd month, starting at the 15th hour and the 9th minute, shall begin the measuring of the circles. Except on the 14th day of the 3rd month in the 15th year, when the measuring shall begin in the 9th hour and the 26th minute and the 53rd second and shall be holier than thou... will ever see again.

And the circles shall be measured, and all the circles, and the measuring of them shall be twice; once around and once across, and the measures shall be divided, the one into the other, the smaller into the larger, and the quotient begat of the division shall be as the Holy Number of the Pi, and there shall be much rejoicing. 

And if the quotient be not as the Holy Number of the Pi, the digits being numbered with the digits of one hand, then those who measure will be sorrowful and will wear the eye frames of birth control and protectors of the pocket and there will be much wailing and gnashing of pencils. And the measuring shall be measured again, and the High Priest of the Holy Number of the Pi shall measure and the dividing and the checking of the quotient from the Holy Number of the Pi shall also be of the High Priest. And if the numbers be holy then the measurers who did measure the measures with out true measure will be punished... in Pi mercy. And the punishment shall be that they shall measure the measures, and divide the measures, until the quotient be the Holy Number of the Pi as far as the digits of the one hand, no more, no less.

Yet if the High Priest of the Holy Number of the Pi finds that the quotient of the measures of that circle matcheth not the Holy Number of the Pi, then the circle shall be cast down, and shall not be a circle, and shall be stricken from the records of the circles, and never measured in all the land. For the Holy Number of the Pi is most holy, and may never be questioned, for it has been reviewed by the Great Peer, and found to be holy."